Why America Won’t Let GM Die

When was it exactly that I, the American taxpayer determined that I wanted to own General Motors? I must have missed it when all my friends began joining Facebook groups demanding that this monolith of monotony, underachiever extraordinaire and just plain stodgy old bastard be saved by our tax dollars.

I have not seen a car from GM that warranted a second glance on the road much less 4000 showrooms nationwide in over twenty years. Imagine my surprise when I learned this week that over half the showrooms slated to close this year have averted the executioner´s axe of mercy.

Beyond simple mismanagement and stubbornness the reason GM is in bankruptcy is simple, their cars are rubbish. P.J. O´Roarke perhaps said it best when he opined, ”There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.” Mr. O´Roarke is a patriot and self-proclaimed Republican Party Reptile, why ever would he not be speaking of a GM model car or truck? Oh that´s right, they are rubbish.

It is time to let this company die. No wait we can´t do that, while it had been in its death throws for some time we saved it. It is ours. So as sound managers that we are we determined that the best thing as shareholders to do was to scale back dealerships in order to make those that remain more profitable. But we forgot about congress. That model of streamlined efficiency that has been a thing of inarguable greatness for years.

During our call for showroom closures, a wise decision my fellow GM owner, we forgot it only takes a few calls to these hacks and they pressure GM, not the cool GM, us, but the same GM that started this mess. They in turn capitulate to these congressmen and save these extra showrooms. Genius. Why could we not have just let it die?

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